March 22, 2026
Have you ever said, “If I were in charge…things would be different! Things would be better!” When we’re kids we might say, when I grow up, I can stay up as late as I want! I can eat ice cream for breakfast! As adults, we’re more in charge, but not in control of other people. When my husband, Kevin, is driving, sometimes I put on the imaginary brake on my side. It doesn’t work, but it makes me feel better! When I’m driving, Kevin sometimes tells me I’m too close to a car. I don’t think so! But whenever we’re trying to control something that’s not ours to control, it’s a reflection of a spiritual problem. We’re trying to be like God. I want to control because I know best!
Jesus didn’t agree with that. He said in John 12:24, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” Jesus is talking about himself: he has to suffer and die! He has to go through a horrific ordeal where he won’t be in control, but it’s all for something better. Jesus surrendered to God’s will.
Jesus here is not just talking about himself! He is talking about us as well! He says in verse 26: “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” To follow Jesus is not to be large and in charge. To follow Jesus is to surrender. You lose your life to keep it! You follow God and lose, but you actually win! You live a better life.
There’s a story in the Old Testament where we see one person trying to control God, and another person surrendering to God. The Ark of the Covenant was a religious storage chest made of gold that held the ten commandments and other religious items. While the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, they carried the ark on poles. The Ark was a token of God’s presence. In 2 Samuel 6, a man named Uzzah is helping to transport the ark, when it shifts and Uzzah reaches out to steady it. He touches it, the gold box part, which the Israelites are forbidden by God from doing. Uzzah immediately falls down dead! (I’m so glad we don’t have anything like that ark in church!) What was his sin? Uzzah tried to control God!
Uzzah’s sudden death spooks King David. Daivd was trying to take the ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem, but he decides not to. He leaves it in the house of Obed-Edom. Three months later, David learns that Obed-Edom and his household have been blessed while the ark sat in their home. So, David decides, it will be a very good thing to move the Ark to Jerusalem!
David sacrifices to the Lord at the ark, then he takes off his royal robes! He wears an ephod, like a big apron without sleeves and that doesn’t go below his knees. He jumps and dances and praises God as the ark come back to Jerusalem! His wife, Michal, sees him as he passes by. She later tells David he looked vulgar, dancing half naked!
These were his underclothes, but he wore a lot of clothes! So, he seemed to be covering the essentials. Maybe she criticized him because he wasn’t in his suit and tie, or whatever kings were supposed to wear!
When your spouse criticizes you, you might be out of control! Dancing before God or worshipping God is something where we should lose some control! In worship here today we sing, even if we don’t know the song well or aren’t the best singers. I think we’re great singers! We’re singing for God, not because we’re professionals! During the sermon we might laugh out loud or we might cry! In worship we pray out loud, and we pray inwardly. Worship is surrender. It might be weird. But it’s not defeat. It’s trusting God to fight the battles we can’t.
Uzzah was going to take control of that Arc. He was going to take care of God. He died trying! David was afraid and left the ark of the covenant where it was for three months. Then he realized God gives blessings, God is good, and the ark should go to Jerusalem. So, he sacrificed and then danced all the way to Jerusalem with the arc, worshipping God!
In this story, David learns to surrender to God. Surrender isn’t defeat; it’s trusting God to fight the battles you can’t. In life, you and I are not God, but it’s really tempting to act like we are! Think about when you’re raising kids. It’s tricky! You start out being in total control. Your infant needs you to be. As they grow up, the job of a parent is to let go of control, little by little. If you try to control and correct a kid too much, they’ll be afraid to do anything. Ordering them around all the time kills your relationship. It’s good to replace total control with listening, trust and cooperation. You trust God to work in ways you can’t.
Or maybe you’re the boss. You might notice many flaws in your workers. If you point out to each worker every problem they have, you demoralize them. Instead, notice the good things they do and praise those over and over, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire of goodness, making the good grow! After lots of praising you can mention a few weak areas for them to work on. Being the boss means you don’t say whatever you want, whenever you want to whomever you want. Instead, you live surrendered to God. You say what builds up.
You have to let some things be a little different than you might want them to be. Because in relationships, you can have control, or you can have intimacy. Sometimes we get overly concerned about things that really aren’t a big deal. If we’re not careful, we can hurt our relationships over something stupid.
Like, does it matter if, occasionally, your kid leaves the house, and their clothes don’t match and their hair doesn’t look right? Do you really think they’ll grow up to be a homeless person someday because of it? They won’t! You’ll have a great relationship with them if you don’t sweat the small stuff.
This doesn’t mean we let everything go! We help our kid learn to get dressed and comb their hair. We help them learn to clean their room. But if their standard for a neat room is different than ours, can we let them be the person they are?
Kids have a way of growing up before you know it! Sometimes it’s the things they do that we complain about that we miss the most when they fly the nest!
There’s something you’re trying to control. We are all trying to control something. Jesus says you have to die to the urge to control, because control doesn’t work.
My challenge for you this week, is to read Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”
Jesus says, we have to let the part of us that wants to be in control of everything fall away. We can die to selfishness and control. Then God lifts us up! We rise to close relationships where we appreciate our friends and family’s unique qualities. Because, like Jesus, we die to self and live for God.
We have a very good God, and that means we don’t have to do everything! Control says, “it’s all up to me.” But the best way is to trust God, to loosen our grip, and let God do what we can’t. Choose surrender over control. Surrender isn’t defeat. It’s trusting God to fight the battles you can’t. Amen.
Maureen Duffy-Guy's blog 