Abigail: a positive influencer

5/12/24 Mother’s Day

Today we celebrate mothers and all women! Mothers have a tremendous influence on us! They have a wonderful job. It can also be stressful and difficult. There are so many challenges to being a mother today. We give love to women, to all who nurture, teach us, and help us to grow.

Today we’re talking about a woman who was a positive influencer! She was different from today’s influencers; she was not making money off the internet. In a time when women didn’t have power a big crisis came up. Abigal’s husband made the mess. He was in charge. Abigail didn’t just throw up her hands. She didn’t sit back and wait for her husband to do something. She started a full-out effort to change things for the better.

Her story speaks to all of us. Because there are times when you’re in charge. You’re the parent, you’re the boss, you’re the coach. You are the one that makes decisions and can make a change. But sometimes, you aren’t. Then, it’s tempting to say, “What can I do? I’m just an employee, I’m the bottom of the totem pole, I don’t have any authority. There’s nothing I can do.” But we’re all in charge of something.

Abigail was not the boss, but she jumped in to avert a crisis. You may have never heard of her. Her story is in 1 Samuel 25. Nabal was a wealthy man. He had 1000 goats and 3000 sheep! His wife was Abigail. Nabal was unfriendly and mean. Abigail was smart and beautiful. Back then, only men could own property and wealth. A woman had little power.

It was a violent world then, and a rich man needed security for his livestock. David and his men would travel around and make sure no enemies would steal the people’s animals. In return, when it was the season for sheep shearing, the livestock owner would pay David for the protection he and his men had provided.

When it came time for Nabal to shear his sheep, David sent ten of his men to Nabal, who would have a lot of money from selling wool. David told his men to tell Nabal, David sends you greetings, my friend, with his best wishes for you, your family and all that is yours. He heard that you were shearing your sheep, and he wants you to know that your shepherds have been with us, and we treated them well. Just ask them. Please give what you can to us your servants, and to me, your dear friend David.

Nabal says to them, David? Who is he? I’ve never heard of him. I’m not going to give my bread and water and my animals to men who come from I don’t know where!

When David’s men returned and told him what Nabal said, he was furious! David took 400 men and told them to buckle on their swords, we’re coming for Nabal! I don’t think David was concerned about collecting the money at this point. He just wanted revenge! This was going to be a bloodbath!

But one of Nabal’s servants told Abigail that Nabal had been very rude to David, and that David’s men had protected them in the fields and been very good to them. The servant asked Abigail to think this over and warned that this could be a disaster to all your family. Your husband, Nabal, won’t listen to anybody.

What would you do if you heard that an angry David and 400 men with swords were headed for you? I think I’d panic! I’d be tempted to throw up my hands and run away! I can’t do anything about this, I don’t have an army! Abigail was not responsible for this crisis. She wasn’t the boss, Nabal was. But leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about taking care of the people in your charge. Abigail decided to take care of the people around her. She was levelheaded. First, she took notice of what she had.

Abigail had no time to worry about what she didn’t have. She had to look for what she did have! Abigail had food! She got together 200 loaves of bread, two bags of wine, five roasted sheep, two bushels of roasted grain, a hundred bunches of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs. She was pretty smart to decide to win over an army with food! Abigail noticed what she had. She wasn’t a warrior. But she could feed an army! And it is good she was not a warrior. Because food was received so much better by David than a fighting warrior would have been!

Next, Abigail approached with a positive attitude. As David travelled to Nabal’s home, he was thinking, I am going to kill Nabal and every last one of his men! Murder was on his mind. Abigail approached David, got off her donkey, bowed down to him with her face to the ground and threw herself on the ground at David’s feet. That’s pretty dramatic, but she knew she had to approach with absolute humility! She had to show she was sorry!

She told David she was sorry, and that Nabal was a fool. She asked David to accept her gift, the food she brought, for his men. She said the Lord will bless him and take care of him, because he fights the Lord’s battles. She said to David, when the Lord makes you king over Israel, it’s good you won’t have the needless bloodshed on your hands from having avenged yourself here.

How you approach someone for a difficult conversation is everything! Abigail approached with humility, an apology, and with praise for David. She appealed to his better nature. Did it work?

In verses 32-34David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”

Abigail did it! Leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about taking care of the people in your charge. She saved the lives of the people who worked for her husband and of all her family. Then her husband, Nabal died, and she became David’s second wife (while he was still married to the first. That’s what they did back then.)

Abigail used the influence she had in a positive way. Positivity is very powerful. She had an “I can do this” attitude. “I wouldn’t have chosen this, but I’m going to make this work.” We can get caught up in a negative outlook and say, How can I lead when I don’t have all the authority I need? I don’t have any influence, I’m just a victim. My challenge to you this week is to ask yourself a positive question: How should I lead with the opportunity I have? You may have somebody in your life who doesn’t listen to you. You may be in a situation where you gave up trying to find a better way. Abigail looked for the positive opportunity. And she saved the day! So ask yourself, “How should I lead with the opportunity I have?”

I think about all the moms out there, all the women, who’ve dealt with a kid who had a temper tantrum, or had a teenager who gave them the silent treatment, or had to help a kid panicked by a school project that was due. Mom’s find the opportunity. They bring positive influence to a situation. They save the day!

Even the people in charge are never completely in charge. Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of the people in your charge. The next time you think a situation is hopeless, try a positive attitude. Remember Jesus words, “With God all things are possible!” Amen.