Lake Wobegon was a fictional town in the radio show, “A Prairie Home Companion.” There all the women were strong, all the men were good looking, and all the children were above average. It is silly to think we all can be or need to be above average. There used to be a lot of emphasis on the importance of high self-esteem. If you didn’t have it, you might become a criminal. You wouldn’t fulfill your potential. That was what we were told.
But it turns out low self-esteem is not such a bad thing, and it does not produce criminals. Actually, criminals: think too highly of themselves. Criminals have self-esteem that is way too high. They think “rules and laws don’t apply to me. I can do whatever I want.” If we try to make sure we have high self-esteem, it can be counterproductive.
Also, it turns out people with low self-esteem often do better in life. They may try harder than someone with high self-esteem who thinks, “I’m already great. I don’t need to try hard.”
Another problem with too much focus on self-esteem, is it means we become too self-involved. If you are too focused on yourself, you don’t really listen to others. All you do is talk about yourself. You miss out on wonderful interaction and relationship with other people, because you’re not interested in what anyone else is saying or doing. Self-involved people are the most miserable people.
So high self-esteem is not as important as we used to think. That’s kind of a relief. We can stop focusing so much on ourselves. We don’t have to try to build tremendous confidence in our self. We Christians know that we are all human and we all sin. It would be wrong to feel everything about us is right, that it’s good we sin. But we need some confidence. We can shift. Instead of feeling really good about me and having tremendous confidence in myself, I can put that confidence in God. We can have tremendous confidence In God who is all good and all loving.
That reminds me of the story of David and Goliath. Before David was King David, when he was still a kid, he was sent to three of his brothers on the battle lines, to give them bread. While he is with his brothers, the enemy giant comes out, yells and struts, and makes fun of and defies the army of Israel. Every one of the soldiers of Israel is afraid of Goliath. But David steps up and volunteers to fight him. David says to King Saul of Israel: “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.” David volunteers, not because he has high self-esteem. He steps up, because somebody needs to do the right thing, somebody has to stand up when God is mocked.
David has confidence, not because he is self-involved or self-preoccupied. David does not have a collection of trophies at home that tell hm how great he is. How could David have high self-esteem: he has 7 older brothers who make sure he feels like nothing! There on the battle lines David’s brother Eliab tells him, “I know how wicked and conceited you are!” David doesn’t have high self-esteem, he doesn’t have self-confidence. David stands up because God has helped him do impossible things in the past, and he has confidence that God will help him do something impossible right now. David’s confidence isn’t in himself. His confidence is in God.
Listen to what David tells King Saul, listen for where David’s confidence lies: “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1Samuel 17:34-37)
David’s confidence is in God. Yes, he has killed lions and bears. But he says “The Lord rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear.” And David has full confidence that “The Lord will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
David says to Goliath: “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” David’s confidence isn’t in himself or in any armor or weapon. His confidence is totally in God.
And that is how a shepherd boy battles a giant in armor and wins! Because he has confidence in God. So, we don’t need more self-confidence. We need God confidence.
Imagine if each of us had that kind of confidence in God: the world would change quickly because we would be standing up and doing God’s work! Miracles here we come!
How do we get the kind of confidence David had: confidence in God?
Today I’m going to give you three truths to build your confidence. How do you stay positive about you, and believe that God can do amazing things through you?
The first truth is: My God is always for me. Did you ever feel like God is out to get you? Just waiting for you to do something wrong so he can punish you? Well if you think of God like a parent, consider this: parents love their kids. If you have kids, you don’t look at them and think: I hope they do something wrong so I can yell at them! No! That’s not what parents do. God created us and said that we are good. We are God’s children. He loves us! Paul says in Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” So, it doesn’t matter who or what is standing in our way. If God is for us, we’ll be like David mowing down Goliath. Goliath is no match for God! If your obstacle is a mountain of debt: God is for you! You will send you debt packing! If you are trying to repair a broken relationship? Well God is all for you. If you need a miracle: God is for you. Let’s all say that, “My God is always for me.”
The second truth is: My God always helps me. God does not give us everything we want or fix every problem. But God is always there to help. You’ve had difficulties and problems in life. But when you look back, wasn’t God there, helping you? Even though at the moment you might not have realized God was working. One of the most difficult things for me in my life was when my Mom died. She was 79 and had Alzheimer’s. But to me, it was really hard, and I wondered: “what do I do?” But God provided help. God blessed me with my husband, my friends, my kids, and my churches. When you are a minister of two churches you have twice the blessings! It was a tough year but God got me through it. God always helps. Say that with me, “My God always helps me.”
Here’s the third truth: My God is still working in me. I love that. Even when we blow it, God is still working. God never gets up and walks away from you. God never looks at you and says, “That’s it, I’m done!” God still has a purpose and a plan for you. No matter if you wrestle with spiritual doubts, or have a habit you can’t overcome, or don’t pray and you feel like you’re neglecting God, God is still working in you. We’re not done till will get to heaven. The apostle Paul said, “I do the things I shouldn’t do. I don’t do the things I should do. I’m wretched!” And he was in the middle of a being a great missionary and spreading the Christian faith and writing letters that would be books in our Bible. He felt wretched, he knew he wasn’t what he should be or what he wanted to be. But even while he was a sinner, God was still working in him.
You are enough. Just as you are. God is crazy about you. God is not done with you. Say that: God is not done with me. That’s a good thing. God is so good!
My homework for you this week, is to ask yourself, “How would your life be different if you shifted from self-confidence to God confidence?”
God sets us free from the past, from the things we are ashamed of. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you. God is crazy about you. When you sin and you’re sorry, he forgives you. You’re his beloved child. Everybody is a work in progress. We’re all broken. But God can change the world through you, when you put your trust and confidence in God who is always for you, always helps you, and is still working in you. Amen.
August 16, 2020
Maureen Duffy-Guy's blog 