A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he’d leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.
This went on for nearly five years.
Even though they never spoke, every day he’d leave fifty cents, they’d make eye contact, and she would nod her gratitude as he walked away without a pretzel.
Finally, one day, as the lawyer passed her stand and laid down his two quarters, the pretzel woman spoke to him.
“Sir, I appreciate your business. You are my best customer, but you need to know something. The price of pretzels has gone up to seventy-five cents.”
We are in a message series, “Stay positive.” Today we’re going to talk about complaining. Everybody complains. There’s some good that comes of complaining. My husband, Kevin, likes his coffee hot. Sometimes he goes to a restaurant and asks for coffee. The server pours coffee in his cup. But it’s lukewarm. Kevin complains to me, but not to the server. I say, “You should tell them. You should complain.” But he doesn’t. He likes to drink a lot of coffee. So, he drinks his lukewarm cup, and pretty soon the server is back to fill it up, and by then they have made a fresh, hot pot of coffee and he’s happy. He has one bad lukewarm cup, then a good hot cup. It’s ok to ask (nicely) for hot coffee. Sometimes you need to complain, it makes things better.
But you don’t want to become that person who complains about everything. In the first church Kevin and I served as ministers, there were a number of farmers. There were potato farmers and peach growers. Farmers grew corn and soy, and they had livestock. You could say in conversation: ‘’What a beautiful day, the sun is shining. It’s a perfect day.” They would say, “Yeah, but we need some rain.” Then we would get some rain, so next time I saw them I would say, “Well, that was good we got rain.” They’d say, “Well, but it was too much rain.” They were wonderful people. But they were never happy with the weather. It was too hot, or not warm enough, too dry, too wet. I learned to talk about anything but the weather with them.
Recently, we complain a lot about the pandemic. On one side people ask, “Why are people wearing so many masks, why are they limiting bars and restaurants, this is crazy!” On the other side, people ask, “Why is it some people don’t wear a mask in the store? This is crazy!”
We have a new pandemic, and that pandemic is complaining! But the good news is that there is a cure to the pandemic of complaining. That cure is gratitude!
You may think, complaining just occurs because we are unhappy. It’s the result of unhappiness. But I think it’s the other way around. Complaining causes us to be unhappy. Complaining is saying out loud, that something is wrong, bad, or not good. It turns your focus to, and points out to other people, what is wrong in the world. It’s really easy for any of us to forget all the good things in our lives. When we complain, we wipe the blessings out of our mind. Life just seems bad.
But we want to be happy, so how do we stop complaining? Is it possible? In last week’s message, we heard from a great optimist: the apostle Paul. Paul says this about complaining in Philippians 2:14: “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.” So how do we stop our grumbling?
Paul writes this letter to the Philippians while he is in jail. And you would think it would be a letter full of complaints: “the foods no good, they treat me like an animal, this is no fair, I just want to get out of here!” But if you look at Philippians, it is not at all a letter of complaints. Instead, it is very positive. It is the book of the Bible you should read it you need a pick me up.
In Philippians 1:21, Paul says, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” So, no matter what happens to him, if he lives or dies, it’s a plus. Everything is good. That is gratitude when you can be grateful no matter what!
He also says, it’s a good thing that I am here in prison in Philippians chapter 1:12-14: “12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.”
Paul’s time in prison means the good news of Jesus Christ spread through the whole palace guard and beyond, and it means the Christians have became more bold to share their faith.
It’s in this happy letter that Paul urges the cure for complaining. In Phil 4:4-7 he says:
“4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all.” (Have you ever heard someone complain in a store or restaurant, and their gentleness is not evident? Ever heard someone yell? Paul says, don’t do that!) “The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Paul is saying, instead of being anxious and negative, pray and give thanks. So first of all, take your worries to God and leave them with him. You can forget about your worries because God is large and in charge. He’ll take care of you.
And, instead of being anxious and negative, give thanks. In every situation, pray and give thanks.
Paul ends with the result: if you pray and give thanks in every situation, you will have God’s amazing peace,
Giving thanks is the gateway to peace. Gratitude is a way out of a pit of despair, unhappiness and complaining. Gratitude sets our focus on the goodness of God and brings us amazing peace.
We don’t just have to take Paul’s word for it that gratitude leads to God’s peace. Research says gratitude has many benefits: it opens the door to new relationships. When you say thank you to people, they are more likely to become a friend. Grateful people experience less aches and pains. Gratitude increases happiness and decreases depression. Grateful people are more sympathetic and less likely to seek revenge. Grateful people sleep better. A study found Vietnam Veterans who were more grateful had less PTSD. Research says that Paul’s words are true: “with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God will guard you.”
Coronavirus is actually an opportunity to practice gratitude, and experience God’s peace. Remember when kids used to complain about school? Now they will be so thankful to sit in a classroom with their friends and teacher. I’m so much more grateful every time I see people in church, than I was before Covid! I’ve learned to be very thankful for likes and comments online. We can be grateful to be alive, grateful to sit in a restaurant. When you live without something, you become more grateful for it! An easy way to be grateful, is to think of all the things we didn’t have or the people we couldn’t be with during the stay-at-home period and give thanks for them! So, there is reason to be thankful for coronavirus, it has made us more grateful!
My homework for you this week is each day, to write down something or someone you are grateful for. See how it makes you feel. Maybe you’ll decide, I’m going to keep on being grateful, because I want to be happy, healthy, and know God’s amazing peace.
Paul told us, he knew before there was research, that gratitude gives us a peace the world can’t give. If we’re anxious, thanksgiving calms us. If we’re feeling negative, gratitude focuses us on the positive. We have so much to be thankful for, but it’s very easy to be blind to all the blessings God has given. Gratitude is not just good manners; it is the gateway to God’s amazing peace. Amen. Next week join us when our message will be: “Three truths to build your confidence.”
Maureen Duffy-Guy's blog 