The Lonely Loved

The Lonely Loved 

So, we have a pandemic going on, we are social distancing, while an African American man was killed for no reason by the police, there are protests, division, and life is kind of stressful. We’ve had more than our share of things we are going through! 

And with all this going on, part of the cure for the pandemic is social distancing, and it’s stressful not to be around others. 

There was a survey done that asked: what do you miss most about church: the sermons, worshiping with other people, or community? Of course, people missed the sermons most! But no, they didn’t. They liked worshiping with other people, but what they missed the most was community. They missed talking with people before and after worship. Kids missed seeing their Sunday school teacher, and teachers missed seeing their Sunday school kids. The best part of church is the people! 

There is a story from Genesis chapter 1 where God created the world. And each day God looked at what he had created, and he said it was good, it was good, it was good. Then he looked at man who was alone…and God said, “This is not good!” So, God created woman. Because we are made for other people.  

We are essential to each other. We are all essential people. We may not all be essential workers, but we are all essential people. 

If I asked you, “Who is lonely.” You might say, “A lot of other people are lonely. Older people, widow, widowers. That can be true. But many other people are lonely. We live in a time of relational poverty. There is financial poverty when you don’t have enough money. Relational poverty is when you don’t have enough friends, you don’t have neighbors you chat with, you don’t have people in your life. You can work with a lot of people but feel alone. You can be married and feel alone. You can be a successful businessperson and feel so alone. You can feel you have no one you can really talk to. 

It’s even easier to feel alone now, because you have to social distance. But before social distancing, loneliness was already a problem, because of division in families in families and breakups, because people move a lot more, because people have heavy workloads and are so busy they don’t have time to connect with those close to them. And people experience loneliness on social media. It can connect us. But when you post a selfie, and no one likes it, and you wonder why, “Don’t people like me?” Social media can make us feel more alone. 

We have a need for connection. Even more so now while we’re social distancing and dealing with so many troubles. 

What I want to do today is deputize you. You are connected to more people than you realize, and I want to make you part of the solution: to love the lonely.How are we going to do this? We’re going to listen. We love by listening.  

Listening is harder than you think. Most of us like to listen to someone else just a little, just enough so that we can jump in and tell our favorite story. 

I love to tell my favorite story. Most of us don’t listen with the intent that we want to understand the other person. We just listen, or act like we’re listening, long enough to give our awesome comeback remark. 

What did Jesus do? Well Jesus was a great listener. Once a blind man was crying out to Jesus. Jesus said, come on over. Blind Bartimaeus came to him. Jesus asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” Now, come on, Jesus, everyone could see this guy was blind, and everyone knew what he wanted. It was a question that didn’t need to be asked. Jesus knew what he wanted, but Jesus asked to let Bartimaeus speak his truth and speak for himself. Jesus asked him, “What do you really want? I am listening. I want to have a conversation with you!” And Bartimaeus says what everyone expects: “Rabbi, I want to see!” Jesus said, “Go, your faith has healed you!” Jesus did more than give Bartimaeus sight. He saw him and he heard him. Jesus saw his courage, that he had heart, and that he didn’t give up. Jesus treated him not like some poor, pitiful human being, but like a person with dignity. 

What we all want, is not for someone to wave a wand and fix our problems. We’ll take that, but we want more. We also want to be seen, and heard, and valued. Jesus did that. He really listened. 

My husband Kevin, after we got married, learned that when I have a problem and tell him about it, I don’t want him to fix the problem.  It was confusing to him at first. He would give me a solution, “Ok, you just need to do this.” He now knows I just want him to say, “There, there, that’s too bad. I hear ya.” I just want to be listened to. I’ll get over the problem or figure out a way to fix it myself. I just need him to listen to my troubles. ‘There, there.” “I hear ya.” That’s music to your ears, isn’t it, when someone really listens? 

My homework for you this week is to reach out to someone who’s lonely, which is easy right now, because we’re all lonely. We often ask others, “How are you?” which is a throw away question, because we don’t say how we really are. So, add a word, “Really” “How are you really?” or “How can I pray for you?” Decide to zip your lip, listen to really hear and see that person. 

There’s a world of need all around you. We have been through a lot and we all want someone to care. You are now a lieutenant of love, a captain of caring. Your mission is to love the lonely, to really listen and care. 

Isaiah 41:10 says, “So Do Not Fear, For I Am With You; Do Not Be Dismayed, For I Am Your God. I Will Strengthen You And Help You; I Will Uphold You With My Righteous Right Hand.” 

God says in that verse “I am with you!” Sometimes we miss that. We think God came just to do: to heal and teach, to forgive and save. One of the most powerful things God does for us, when we are lonely, when we don’t think anyone cares, is God is with us! God sent Jesus, whose name was “Emmanuel”, which means, God with us, God living on earth and going through the things we do. God sent the Holy Spirit, who was God with us to encourage and comfort us and give us power. God sees us and listens to us. God is with us. God sends us out with power, to love the lonely, and to simply listen and care. Amen 

June 7, 2020