I want to trust you, God, but I don’t

Oct. 12, 2025

We’re in a sermon series, and today it’s on a book by Lysa Terkeurst, I want to trust you, but I don’t.

I like to think I trust God. Do you trust God? I say I do, but sometimes I don’t! We get stuck in certain ruts, responding to difficulties our way, the way we like to. When really, trusting that God is good and God’s way is best helps open our hearts and minds to a better way!

We talked about our mindset in consistory a few months ago, how we can wither be stuck, or open to God. Our mindset can be “It is what it is. Nothing can change things.” Or it can be “I am open to God’s leading, because he makes a way where there is no way.” Our mindset can be, “I can’t learn new things, I can’t take on a challenge.” An open, trusting mindset is, “I embrace a challenge.”

At Trinity, we talked about how during the depression, the congregation planned to build a new church, but the contractor ran off with the money to build the church! But some church members mortgaged their homes to pay to build the church! They were open, they really trusted God in a big way!

At. St. Peter’s, we were talking about how to grow the children’s Sunday school. Tina remembered that Dolly Adams used to have these big parties for everybody in the community, and they helped the Sunday school grow. She embraced a challenge!

We’re gonna hear today about Abigail, a woman who was in a very difficult situation. She didn’t get stuck in hopelessness or anger. She was open, trusting God to get her and her people through. She did things God’s way, not her way. This was over 2800 years ago, in the Bible in 1 Samuel 25. We learn there is a very wealthy man named Nabal. He has a thousand goats and three thousand sheep. He is shearing them, taking the wool off.  His wife is Abigai, who is intelligent and beautiful. But Nabal, he is surly and mean!

At this time David, of David and Goliath fame, is not yet king, and he is on the run because King Saul wants to kill him. Back in chapter 22, it says that many men who were in distress, or in debt, or discontented gathered around David. Why were they in distress, or in debt, or discontented? They had worked for wealthy landowners. And the landowners would loan them money then charge so much money on the loan that the men could not pay them back. So, they left the landowners for the wilderness and gathered around David as their leader.

David hears that Nabal is shearing his sheep, and David sees a way they can do a great favor for him. They camp all around Nabal’s animals and shepherds and keep them safe. David and his men protect Nabal’s wealth. So, David thinks Nabal will be grateful.

David sends some men to greet Nabal, wish him well and to remind him how they have protected his sheep and shepherds. As David asked, they say to Nabal, ‘Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’ They are asking for some food. This is sheep shearing time, when Nabal is going to become even wealthier. Of course he can help them!

But Nabal replies, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. ¹¹ Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?”

The men return to King David, and when they tell him what Nabal said, David tells his men, “Strap on your swords!” He is ready to go kill Nabal and all his servants!

Luckily, there is a servant who hears what Nabal said to David’s men! The servant decides not to go to Nabal because he is mean and surly! Instead, he goes to Abigail. The servant tells her, David sent messengers from the wilderness to Nabal. They were very nice, but Nabal was mean. David and his men were very good to us! They were like a wall shielding us and the sheep from danger. The servant says to Abigail, ^‘Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”

What does Abigail do? There are unhelpful, stuck things she can do: things that aren’t going to help her get through this! She can complain about her mean, stupid husband, Nabal. That isn’t going to help. She can complain to her mean husband, Nabal. But we already know he’s mean and surly and complaining is not likely to change him. That would probably feel good, but it wouldn’t help. She can give Nabal the silent treatment. That isn’t going to change anything. Abigail can throw up her hands and say, “It’s no use! He won’t change! I’m nobody, there’s nothing I can do.” That isn’t going to help either! Doing things where she would be stuck in old patterns is not going to save Nabal and all the men who work for him from death!

There’s another way: trusting God. Having an open heart, praying God, I know your way is best. I’m trusting you for a way forward. I trust you, that whatever you want me to do, you will help me do it.

Here’s what Abigail does; she doesn’t do the stuck in old patterns things she wants to do that won’t help. She is instead open, she trusts God! She knows that David wants food, and she has food!  Abigail takes a whole lot of food: 200 loaves of bread, five sheep, grain, figs, wine and raisins. She heads down the road. She is going toward an army of men who are ready to kill her husband and all the men on their farm! She comes to David and as she gets closer, she hears him say, “May God deal with me severely if I don’t kill Nabal and all his men by sunrise!” I don’t like scary movies or scary situations, and I really wouldn’t want to be Abigail standing in front of David while he’s threatening my people! What she does next shows she TRUSTS God completely! Abigail humbly kneels before David. She tells him don’t pay attention to Nabal; he’s a fool! Kneeling before David and saying Nabal is a fool is the only way David will listen to her. Abigail offers David the gift of the food she has brought for him and his men.

She tells David that soon he will become king of Israel. And when he is king, he won’t have the burden of having shed the blood of men of Israel.

David sees the hand of God in Abigail’s words and actions. He says thank the Lord that He sent you to me! May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 

By trusting God and being open to the huge challenge of reconciliation, Abigail saves the day!

When Abigail tells her husband what she did, he has a heart attack and 10 days later, he dies! Then David asks Abigail to become his wife! She says yes. David has some other wives. And concubines. He keeps them and married Abigail, too. So, things are complicated. Life is messy. The Bible is a ilttle like real life: it isn’t a fairytale ending, but David understands what a courageous, amazing woman she is!

Lysa Terkheurst wrote the book, I want to trust you God, but I don’t. I want to read you part of a declaration she wrote in the middle of the night.

“Being brave is not always something you feel, it’s something you do. You do it in the face of fear and unknown outcomes and risks you really don’t wanna take. You do it when your enemy is staring you down with taunting statements of defeat. You do it not to prove there is something great inside you. You do it because, if you don’t, something will die inside of you. You do brave things because it’s time to rise up and speak up and let truth find its freedom with your voice. Whatever you’ve been through, whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re facing, acknowledge it, speak it, cry over it, but don’t die over it. You’ve been hurt, but you do not need to live hurt. You do brave things because you were made to connect not with all people, but with the right people, like getting to church today. Go be brave. And remember if God is for you, nothing can stand against you!” Amen!