April 28, 2024
We’re in a message series called Chasing Carrots, about how we always chase more in life, but it doesn’t satisfy. We talked about chasing fame, money and stuff, perfectionism, and next week we’ll talk about pursuing comfort. If comfort is our main goal, it interferes with living by faith. Today we’re talking about approval! Do you like me? Do you approve of me? Sometimes we pursue other people’s approval over trying to please God. Do you think you might care a little too much about what other people think? Sometimes we focus too much on pleasing others.
And here’s three problems with being a people pleaser. First, you obsess about what other people think! Do you like my hair? Why didn’t my friend respond to my text or phone call? Are they mad at me? We obsess about what people think. But I like the quote: You wouldn’t worry what people think about you, if you knew how seldom they did!
The second challenge that people pleasers battle is this, you’re often sensitive to criticism. Your supervisor might make a suggestion about your performance, and you fall apart. One negative comment from someone and you can’t think about anything else. 100 people can say something positive to you, but one person criticizes you and you’re crushed! We’re often overly sensitive to criticism.
The third problem people pleasers battle with is you have a hard time saying no. Often when we are obsessed with what people think of us, we struggle to say no when we realize we really should. For me I’m very vulnerable to this. If someone asks me to help, I say sure.
Here at church, there may be some who are overloaded with volunteering. You might be doing too much. But when asked to take on another role, “Will you help?” you end up saying yes. It’s for the church! I can’t say no! Or maybe a salesperson tries to convince you to make a purchase, and you buy something you don’t really want, to make them happy. People pleasers find it hard to say no and can be overcommitted.
Every one of us has some fear and anxiety about what others think or will think. It’s destructive! Because we can never completely, please other people. Also, trying to please other people can lead down a bad path: the opinions of others start to matter to us more than our own sense of what’s right. And we will never get everyone to approve of us. It’s a spiritual issue when the approval of others matters to us more than God’s approval. Being consumed by what people think about you makes you forget what God knows about you.
The apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Christians in Galatia. In Galatians 1:10 Paul wrote, Obviously, I am not trying to win the approval of people. I am trying to win the approval of God. The Galatians knew Paul lived for the approval of God, not others. He was a missionary who regularly risked beatings and prison to make Christ know to others. He used to be a Jewish religious leader, a Pharisee, who rounded up Christians so they could be arrested. Paul had made it to the top, a respected Pharisee. Now his Pharisee friends shun him. So, Paul is not living for the approval of people. He is living for Christ. If you look at Paul, you see he doesn’t care about others’ approval. He is compelled to preach the life saving good news about Jesus, who saved him and turned his life around.
It’s so clear that Paul was not living for the approval of others. For us it’s not quite so clear. In Galatians 1:10 Paul adds something that demonstrates what it means to really follow Jesus. Paul says, “If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” To be a servant means to have a master. If the approval of others is your master, your master is not Jesus. You can serve one master, but not both.
The first of the 10 commandments is, I am the Lord you God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.
God is saying, I am the one who sets you free, who brings you out of slavery. Don’t make yourself a slave of anything or anyone else. The first commandment so often seems like it doesn’t apply today. I don’t have a statue of Zeus in my home I worship. I don’t have other gods. But idolatry is putting anything before God.
God sets us free! Jesus came and, in his ministry, he healed the blind, cured leprosy, forgave sins, he even raised the dead! Jesus, like God, came to set us free. God created you. He made you the way you are, with a purpose! He gave you a purpose to be true to yourself and true to God. To live like God is God! Being consumed by what people think about you makes you forget what God knows about you.
We’re all looking for approval, but we’re looking in all the wrong places. Like you laughed at that joke that you shouldn’t have. You told a lie to save face. You exaggerated something to make yourself look better. You overcommitted yourself to prove you are good. People pleasing is a form of idolatry.
The good news is that the approval of God sets us free from the disease to please. Paul said in 1 Thess 2:4, “We speak as those approved by God.” Paul says, I’m enough, I’ve been approved by God, my words, and my life bear testimony that I’m enough in God’s eyes. Just think how liberating this could be. There will always be people disappointed in you. You can’t please everyone. But you can please God. Through Christ we’re forgiven, and we can be changed.
How do you feel the love of God, deep down inside you? How do you experience his approval: that God loves you completely, and there’s nothing you do could do to make him love you more? You speak to yourself, reminding yourself of who God says you are. In the bulletin are some promises of who you are to God. Let’s read them together.
- I am a new creation in Christ. 2 Cor. 5:17
- I am forgiven and my sins are washed away. Eph. 1:7
- I am more than a conqueror through Christ. Rom 8:37
- I am God’s masterpiece. Eph 2:10
- I am the light of this world. Matt 5:14
- I am filled with the same spirit that raised Christ. Rom 8:11
- I am a joint heir with Christ. Rom. 8:17
- I am Christ’s ambassador. 2Cor. 5:20
- I am the righteousness of God in Christ. 2Cor. 5:21
- I am greatly loved by God. Rom. 1:7
Let that sink in, God loves you! No one can steal your joy, no one can rob you of your purpose, no one can take away who you are and who you belong to.
My homework for you this week is to say those promises, each day. You’re loved and completely approved by God! When we look for approval from others, we can never get enough. And we find ourselves ashamed of who we become, and disappointed with the lives we lead while trying to make others like us. God and Jesus set us free! When you put your trust in God, it’s transformational! You realize you are God’s friend, a saint, united with God. You are loved with an everlasting love. God says you are mine. And suddenly it doesn’t matter what others think. You stop looking for the approval of others. You find God loves and a
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