Entitlement & Gratitude

November 19, 2023

When I was in college I studied Russian language, and I was able to go to Russia for four months with other American students to study. While taking a train from Finland to Russia we had to stop at the border because they had a different rail gauge. All the passengers had to get out. So, we did. While we waited, I needed to use the toilet, so I asked where it was. I was told where it was, near the train station. I walked in and there was a hole in the floor with a tread on each side. I looked at that hole in the floor and thought, this is not a toilet. There were no toilets. That was all there was. I thought, I can’t use this. But I needed to use the restroom. I went out and asked, is this the restroom? Yes, it was.

I went back into the restroom, and I thought maybe someone thinks this is ok, but I need something better: a toilet! I don’t deserve this! I had all these thoughts in my head. I wanted to scream! This is wrong!

But eventually, I realized there was no other option. In the restroom I put a foot on each side of the hole and squatted. And everything came out ok!

I survived. For the four months I was in Russia, almost all the restrooms had regular toilets. But once in a while, the only option was a Turkish toilet, or squatty potty. I got used to it and it didn’t bother me much.

What I felt when I saw the Turkish toilet for the first time, was I felt entitlement. I was focused on what I deserved. I didn’t care that people from those parts used the Turkish toilet. What was good enough for them wasn’t good enough for me! I deserved better. Entitlement is pride. It is thinking, somehow, I matter more than other people. When you feel entitled, you might make demands and say I deserve better! That might get you want you want. But entitlement does something hurtful to your heart.

Today we’re going to learn about entitlement! We’ll look at a time where Jesus warned about it when he was at dinner with the Pharisees, the religious leaders. It starts with the religious leaders watching Jesus closely at dinner. Jesus watched them as well!

Today at meals, there are the better seats, and the not so good seats. On Thanksgiving there might be an adult table vs. the kids’ table. That’s just the way it is. You can decide which table is better! Or at a wedding reception the wedding party table might be the best table to be at. There are better seats, then there are not so great seats. Back then they probably had more emphasis on only the best people sitting in the nice seats than we do. Jesus had this advice: if you don’t want to be humiliated, don’t go grab the best seat. Because you might be told, hey, that’s reserved for someone else! Get out of this seat! Acting too entitled can lead to humiliating embarrassment. So instead, Jesus says, take the worst seat.

Jesus says in Luke 14:11, “For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” Jesus wants his disciples to be humble. What does Jesus want us to do when we’re invited to dinner? Come in with plenty of the opposite of entitlement, which is gratitude! “I am so lucky to be here! What an honor to be invited!” Choose gratitude, because the more you think you’re entitled to, the less you will be grateful for.

Feeling entitled leads to a lot of frustration. And complaining! If you want to know what you feel entitled to, ask yourself what you complain about. Myself, I complain about the weather, I would like to have Florida weather, right here! Which sounds crazy! I complain about inflation, I wish prices were at 2020 levels, but I don’t want the pandemic back. I wish McDonald’s still had salads. They should listen to me!

Jonathan Pokluda describes a scenario where your great, great great, great, great, great, great grandfather gets to visit you briefly, and you offer him a cup of tea. He asks, “Where do you get your water?” From the kitchen. You show him your faucet, which is amazing to him! “How do you heat the water?” In the microwave. “Do you have a fire?” No, but we have a hot water heater. “Does it keep you warm?” No, it just heats the water. We have a boiler that keeps our house warm. “Do you have horses?” No. “Donkeys?” No, we have cars. “Where do you keep your cars?” In the garage. “What’s that?” It’s a house for cars! This all sounds normal and average to you and me. But to your great, great, great, great, great, great, you are extremely fortunate! You are very lucky compared to people who lived a few hundred years ago. But you’re also very fortunate compared to people around the world. On average Americans make more money and own more stuff than the average person on earth: there are 300,000 items in the average American home. The hours we spend in our lifetimes searching for things we can’t find adds up to 153 days! American children own 40% of the toys in the world.

It sounds like you and I are living an amazing life! The thing is, if we tell ourselves, “I deserve more!” We’ll never be as happy as we will if we take a step back, look at our blessings, and give thanks! The more you think you’re entitled to, the less you will be grateful for.

We are coming up on the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving is great, not so materialistic. But what comes the day after Thanksgiving? Black Friday! The biggest shopping day of the year! Christmas season is the time when stores make the most money. We can approach the holidays with an attitude of entitlement: me and mine deserve all we want and all we can buy. But remember, the more you think you’re entitled to, the less you will be grateful for.

It’s hard to be humble and it takes some work to be grateful. Jesus disciples sometimes felt entitled. They would ask him; can you give me the place next to you when you come into your glory? They thought that because they knew Jesus, they were entitled to greater honor and glory. And what did Jesus say? The greatest among you will be your servant. Jesus says, his followers came to serve; not to complain and claim the best seats!

The gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, kills entitlement. Christ died for our sins. Jesus didn’t deserve to die, but he didn’t live an entitled life. Instead, he gave his life up for us and for our salvation. We didn’t get what we deserved, and that’s a good thing! We received the grace and love of God!

My homework for you this week is to find something you are grateful for each day! It doesn’t have to be big. Express gratitude to God and you’ll live a more joyful life!

The more grateful you are, the less entitled you will feel. Grateful people complain less and find life less frustrating. They are happy when good things happen to other people! They are great team leaders because they aren’t looking to be recognized and applauded. They help a group work well together. Somehow, the less we think we deserve, the happier we are! So, give thanks! For instance, you can give thanks that you have an awesome toilet in your home! Humble yourself, give thanks, and God will lift you up Amen.