This is Just the Way I Am

August 27, 2023

Today we’re going to talk about a very common lie that so many of us wrongly believe, the lie that, “This is just the way I am.” I’ve tried to change, but I just simply cannot do it.” Let me tell you a story about believing a lie.

When I was in college I studied Russian language, and I was able to go study for a semester in Russia, in what was the Soviet Union. It was a program with 36 American students, and we lived in a dormitory with Russian roommates. I was curious, why do people put up with their repressive government? There in Leningrad was a nice hotel called the Pribaltiskaya, it was on the Baltic Sea. It was a hotel for foreigners. The Russian government wanted foreign currency and they wanted foreign tourists to bring foreign currency. So, there would be a nicer hotel in big cities and you had to pay to stay in it with foreign currency. Those nicer hotels weren’t for Russians, which was weird. The nice hotels had gift shops and restaurants. At that time in Russia there wasn’t much you could buy in stores, a grocery store maybe had 40 items you could choose from. If you wanted to buy a souvenir, and you were an American, you could go to foreign currency shop in the hotel. Things like the Russian fur hats with the flaps, you could only buy them in the hotel with foreign currency. Then the policy changed. You were not allowed in a hotel if you were not staying there. We couldn’t go to the gift shop or restaurant there.

The four months I was in the Soviet Union came to an end. BI was back in college in Washington, DC. A friend from Ohio, Rick had been in the Peace Corps in Fiji, island country in south pacific. He taught kids science, until he got sick with hepatitis. The Peace Corps sent him to Washington DC to see doctors. Rick called me up. And I was going to meet him at his hotel and we’d go somewhere. As I was walking to the hotel, I got this thought: “I won’t be allowed in the hotel!” I just wasn’t sure! I got used to not being able to enter a hotel in Russia, and now I felt a real fear I couldn’t go into that hotel to meet my friend!

It doesn’t make sense, but sometimes we believe a lie, thinking we can’t do or be something. A lie can have power over you and hold you back! What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down.

The apostle Paul was a major missionary for Christ. He started churches, he was always going somewhere to tell people about Jesus. He wrote a lot of letters to churches, which are now in our New Testament. We’re looking at one of those letters today. 2 Corinthians 10.

Paul had founded the church in Corinth and stayed there for about a year and a half. Then he left and went to Ephesus. While he was away, there were some rival missionaries who came with their own version of Christianity. These rival missionaries claimed Paul had been timid when he was in Corinth, and now, they said, when he writes letters, he is too bold!

Paul tells them he is bold, but he’s not boastful! He won’t boast. He says, we don’t wage war like the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, God’s weapons have divine power to demolish strongholds. What are strongholds? They are like strong castles. A stronghold means a prisoner locked by deception. It’s believing a lie. Strongholds make people think they can’t when they can. People suffer their trouble because they think they can’t do anything else.

What kind of strongholds trap us? There are financial strongholds. We may believe a lie; “I’ll never have enough money. I don’t know how to budget. I’ll always be in debt.” Do you ever think, maybe I believe some lies about money?

Another stronghold is a relational stronghold. A person might say, “I could never have a good relationship. Marriage doesn’t work out for me. I have trust issues.” Or “I just don’t show affection, that’s not me.” Maybe you believe some lies about relationships.

Another stronghold is habits. Maybe you gamble more than you want to, but you say, when I win, I’ll give some of it to the church. Maybe you wish you didn’t smoke, or perhaps someone is worried about your drinking. Whatever habit, God can set you free.

There are mental strongholds. Some people say, “I just see life from a negative perspective. I’m just grumpy. People often irritate me. I don’t do the things I used to enjoy.” Or “I’m anxious about everything.” You might have a mental stronghold.

There could be a spiritual stronghold. Some say, “I have great plans to read my Bible every day for a year. I do it for two or three weeks, and then I quit reading the Bible.” Or “I try to pray, and I just don’t do it.” Or ‘I have trouble trusting God!” Do you wonder if you have a spiritual stronghold holding you back?

Finally, there might be a physical stronghold. Maybe you don’t like the way you look; you say, “I’d change a thousand things if I could.” Or you have a lot of health issues. Maybe your doctor will give you instructions, but you don’t follow them. You say, “I don’t take medicine, this is just the way I am.” You believe the lie that this is just the way you are, and you can’t change anything. What you tell yourself everyday will either lift you up or tear you down.

Here is the strategy Paul teaches for dealing with people and thoughts that are not helpful. He says we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. So, his strategy is first, we capture wrong thoughts.

For instance, I realize I personally have a relationship stronghold. When Kevin or Ian have a problem, I always know what they should do. I am always ready to tell them what they need to do. I can fix them! They don’t appreciate that so much. But I look at what Jesus did. He was often not quick to fix someone. If a person comes to him with a problem, he might ask, “What do you want?” He listened to them.

It’s hard for me to slow down and listen. Sometimes I feel like “I don’t know how to listen. This is too hard. This is just who I am.” But I demolish that argument! I capture that wrong thought!

I’m working on this relationship stronghold. I put on my listening ears. I make sure I understand.

Jesus knew everything. He knew what people wanted. When they came to him for healing, He didn’t have to ask what they wanted, he already knew! But still He stopped and took the time to listen to them. He gave that gift of listening and giving attention to people and their needs. So, I demolish the idea that I know everything, I know what’s best for someone. I make that thought obedient to Christ, and I listen carefully to understand.

The second part of Paul’s strategy is to release right words. Do you ever give yourself a pep talk? When I’m riding my bike, there’s some big, steep hills where I have to release right words to make it to the top. “I can do this! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” There’s one really steep hill where I say, “If I get up this hill I’ll be a millionaire!” I do make it up the hill. I don’t know when the millionaire thing will happen.

Our God speaks positive words! Listen to Jesus words in our gospel reading, John 14:12-14:

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” Wow, that’s a pep talk! Jesus says, you will do greater things than him! Ask me anything and I’ll do it!

When you say, “This is just the way I am. I can’t change.” Capture that thought and release the right words: Replace those words with, “Jesus says I will do even greater things than he did!” With Christ’s power I can change!

My challenge for you this week is to think: is there a stronghold, just one thing that God wants to change in you? One thing that you know is holding you back? Do you want to capture your thoughts, release the right words, and do you need God’s power to help you win this battle?

What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down. God speaks positive words. Where we say, “That’s just the way I am, I can’t change” He says, “ask me anything and I’ll do it.” We can change the strongholds that hold us back. But we don’t change on our own. We lean on God’s strength. God breaks the strongholds, when we refuse to listen to negative thoughts, and let God release his power and positive words in our lives. Amen.