September 4, 2022
This is the last in our message series: Better! We’re learning how to live better, live the best life! Today, we’re looking at a Scripture verse from Proverbs: “Better a patient person than a fighter, one who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” There are times when it’s good to take a city. But in our day-to-day life, we’re not fighting a war. Better to be patient, instead of being an angry, argumentative, controlling fighter!
But you know what’s really hard? …………… waiting, being patient!
How many of you find yourself occasionally or often impatient? Some of you couldn’t wait to put up your hand! The sad thing is many of us are most impatient with those we love the most!
My husband, Kevin, and I have different understandings of time. If we’re going somewhere, I want to get there on time, and maybe a little early. Kevin’s philosophy is you wouldn’t want to get there early and sit around! So, he tries to leave at the last minute and sometimes a little past that. So, when we’re going to an appointment, I go out to the car and make sure he knows I’m going there. I’d like to honk the horn, but that wouldn’t be great! I back the car out of the garage and start down the street, hoping he’s coming!
It’s hard to be patient! We don’t like to wait and so often we think it’s someone else’s fault that we have to wait: the road construction crew is not doing their work right and taking too long, or our friend is too slow. When we’re impatient, it can cause a real problem if we do or say things that get in the way of relationships. Getting someplace on time is good, but it’s not more important than good relationships with people we care about! Patience with everyone leads to a more joyful life!
A few years ago, Kevin and I went to get blood drawn. He was holding the phone with the GPS while I was driving. We had to fast for this blood draw, so we didn’t have anything to eat. It was a 40-minute drive to Strausstown. Getting near the LabCorp, Kevin said, “Turn here!” I said, “Where do I turn, here?” He said, “Yes here!” By that time, it was too late to turn! So, we had to turn around. We finally get there and go in. They say they can’t take us because we didn’t print out the form. We have to go to the Reading LabCorp where they have internet or computer capability, and there we don’t need printed forms. That’s 30 minutes away. We still haven’t eaten. Both of us have lost our patience! But we go to Reading. At that LabCorp it’s very busy. The people coming in the door all have appointments, and we don’t. After 30-45 minutes, the nurse had pity on us and took Kevin and me back. It’s a wellness check so she takes my blood pressure. I never have high blood pressure: but my blood pressure was high! Kevin’s blood pressure was normal!
In the end, we got our blood drawn. Then we ate breakfast. It all worked out. Was my impatience worth high blood pressure?
Let’s read today’s verse from Proverbs 16:32 together: Better a patient person than a fighter, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
What is patience? Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty, or annoyance without getting angry or upset. I think when we are adults, we think we are mature now! We don’t have melt downs when things don’t go our way. When I lose patience I think, it’s not a meltdown, because I’m right!
Impatience leads to being upset at the people we’re close to, and upset at the traffic jam, and upset at God when life doesn’t go our way. Better a patient person than a fighter…. Why?
Being patient is a way of treating myself and other people with compassion. There are times when it’s good to be impatient. Impatience can be good when you can do something about it. Maybe you think about what you’ll do differently next time so you don’t have trouble. Like, you’ll go to the store at a different time when it’s not so crowded.
But a good portion of the time, there is nothing you can do about a delay, difficulty or annoyance. Because you don’t know when there will be a traffic jam. It’s unexpected. You didn’t know the dog would throw up when you are running late for work. You didn’t know your coworker would forget to call you when they said they would. So, what do you do when there’s nothing you can do to change the situation, and your impatience is making you angry or upset?
The Apostle Paul wrote the letter to the Thessalonians. Paul wrote to encourage and reassure the Christians in the church at Thessalonica. Paul helps us find a way to be compassionate with ourselves and others. He says in 1 Thessalonians 5:13, “Live in peace with each other.” In v. 14 Paul says, “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” How can we be patient with EVERYONE!? In vs. 16, 17 and 18, Paul gives us the key, He says, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The secret is, when impatience is making you angry and upset, find a way to rejoice. Rejoice always, that means in bad times and good. Paul says, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” When your temper is boiling, think, “But what do I have to give thanks for?”
If impatience is making you upset, look for what is good in your situation. See if you can focus on something pleasant or interesting while you’re waiting. In a traffic jam, it might be looking at the cars and trucks around you, what is their make and model? What is the license plate? It might be talking with a passenger in your car or turning on the radio. If I’m waiting in line in a grocery store, I could read the headlines of a tabloid, “Vladimir Putin is a robot!” “Hubby’s bad breath kills his wife.” Wow, I wonder how that works? Or you could look at the other people in line, listen to conversations or start one up with someone. Think about it: if the choice is getting upset and angry, versus finding a way to make the experience enjoyable, I know which one feels better! I know which one will keep my blood pressure normal!
Paul also says, “Pray continually!” If you have trouble looking for the good, pray to God for help. You could pray, “God help me see the good in this situation. Help me live in peace with others.” Patience with everyone leads to a more joyful life!
My challenge for you this week is next time you feel impatient, think, “Where can I find some good in this situation?”
We’re not used to waiting much anymore. And it can get to the point where we get impatient with the world whenever things don’t go our way! Rather than being mad at the world and upset at the people and pets we love, Paul teaches us a way to be more compassionate with ourselves and others. By looking for a reason to rejoice and give thanks, and with continual prayer, we can relax about whatever or whoever is frustrating us. We can live in peace! Patience with everyone, including ourselves, leads to a more joyful life! Amen.
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