Dad, your Friend

June 19, 2022

Happy Father’s Day! I am not a dad. But I come from a long line of fathers. I wouldn’t be here today without them! You too, come from a long line of fathers! Society gives Fathers a weird place. Mom’s the star, and Dad’s the costar. Mom gets the nursery ready. Mom reads the parenting book. Mom takes the kid to the doctor. What about Dad? Well, Dad is actually really important! When Dad is active in their kid’s life, it makes a huge difference in helping a child develop good self-esteem, do well in school and life. Plus, Dad can make a big impact on their kids, in spiritual matters. A Dad who is active in their faith helps their kids get close to God. 

A really important thing that Dad does for his kid, is to be a friend. Today we are going to hear about people in the Bible that are God’s friend and Jesus’ friend. You’ll learn that God is your friend! And how important it is that you are a friend to young people, too! 

It is a bit controversial to say that a parent can be a friend to their kid. It’s thought, a kid needs you to be their parent, not their friend. It is true that you don’t want to be permissive with your kid. You don’t want to decide, “Oh, I just want my kid to like me,” so you won’t have boundaries, limits or impose consequences. No, sometimes being a parent means your kid does not like you! You need to be the parent!  

The thing is kids go through difficult times when life gets more complicated. For me middle school was a more difficult time growing up. And when you have a friend who stops talking to you, or you try to be accepted by your peers, or you get teased, you need your parents’ support, caring and influence the most.  

Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” A friend who sticks closer than a brother. That sounds like a dad to me!  

Even if you don’t have a father growing up, you probably find a way to have people who take that role in your life. You find a coach, a teacher, a friend to be that father figure and friend who helps you find your way, and that friend who is there when you need him. 

James 2:23 says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness, and he was called God’s friend.” Is God a friend of us humans? If you think of God as living distant from us, superior to us, unconcerned with human affairs, then it would be strange to think of God as a friend! The Lord was God to Abraham. God told him to leave his homeland and go where he led him. Abraham obeyed, although sometimes he did the wrong thing. Like when he told his wife not to let the Egyptians know they were married. He was afraid the Egyptians would kill him in order to marry Sarah. So, he told them, she’s my sister. What was he thinking? He was not thinking! Abraham was not on God’s level. But he tried to follow God, to obey. And God considered Abraham a friend! 

In today’s gospel reading, John 15:14-15, Jesus says, ‘You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  

Jesus is friends with his disciples. He has mentored them. They know what he is all about; they know God. Jesus is with them.  

If God is friends with Abraham, and Jesus is friends with his disciples, this means, if you are on the path, following God, you too, are a friend of God. He’s God, but he thinks the world of you! He is close to you, available to you, and has your best interests at heart. God is a friend who sticks closer than a brother! 

God models for us what it is to be a parent. If God can be friends with us humans, this means parents can be friends with their kids! When you are a parent who is a friend, you can still discipline your kid and have boundaries, because your kids respect you enough to obey you.  

When life is difficult, kids need not just any friend. They need a parent who is closer to them than their friends. They need a parent who has more life experience and wisdom than a peer. 

A parent has known their kid their whole life. They aren’t going to abandon their kid; they won’t say, “I’m not your friend anymore.” A kid knows their parents will listen and care and help them figure out a way forward. When a parent is a friend: they are close, ready to talk, and helping their kid navigate life. 

As children mature, it’s not all that unusual for them to tell a parent, “I hate you!” It’s easy to be angry at a kid who says that. But you can choose how you respond. You can choose to be a friend. You can take a moment to get over your anger and find your way back to liking your kid. You know they don’t really mean what they’re saying. They don’t want you to hate them. At that moment, they really need you to hang in there, and still believe in them. 

Dads might not plan the nursery, read the parenting book or use google to find out if a kid needs to go to the doctor. But dads can be awesome friends. Being a friend is as easy as seeking out your kid, playing a game with them, or telling them what is great about them! I think everybody loves to be told things like “you’re so good at baking, I love your chocolate chip cookies!” or “I like you because you’re a good listener.” Or “You are so creative, and your pictures are so interesting!” Or “You run so fast it’s hard to keep up with you!” Or “You tell the best stories; they make me laugh!” When someone tells me what they like about me, I could listen to that all day long! Couldn’t you?  

With every confirmation class we make affirmation posters. We write compliments on each person’s poster, what we like about them. That’s a keeper! 

My homework for you today is to tell someone: “You’re great!” “I like you!” Let’s practice it. Tell someone near you, ‘You’re great, I like you!” See? You’re good at that! This week tell a young person, “You’re great at………………..” Tell them what you like about them! 

You are a friend of God! He’s God, but he’s wild about you! If the creator of heaven and earth, and Jesus, our redeemer, are also our friends, then parents can be good parents and friends to their kids.  

Dads are really great and very important to the well-being of their children. It can be hard to raise kids, it’s a sacrifice to forgive and always look for the greatness in your child. But this sacrifice has a reward that is out of this world! When you like your kids, when you are their friend in good times and bad, they learn to trust you. They feel affirmed that you like them for who they are, and you make the ground feel solid under their feet.  

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

 Happy Father’s Day! Amen.