Why is it hard to be grateful?

November 22, 2021

In my neighborhood, when you find a parking spot it is a source of happiness! Years ago, when Kevin and I were looking for a house to buy in Tamaqua, I looked at the parking situation, and I thought, we need to get a house with a two-car garage. Lucky enough, we did! 

Seems like there are more cars than ever on our street, with no more spots for them. One neighbor was telling me he wasn’t happy with another neighbor, who parks in the spot directly across the alley from his house, and never responds when he says, “Hello!” It really burns him up. He takes his favorite parking spot and ignores him. So, I told the other neighbor, who said he never noticed the guy greeting him, and he did move his car. So, things are better now. My neighbor felt that guy was really ungrateful. 

We all recognize when somebody is ungrateful. We can all think of someone who we feel takes advantage of us, doesn’t appreciate all we do for him or her. We see ingratitude easily in other people. We think, “Any reasonable person would see things the way I do!” 

But it’s harder to recognize ingratitude in myself. I didn’t know my neighbor is annoyed with where I park! Or I didn’t know the waiter at my favorite restaurant thinks I could show appreciation with a bigger tip! Or what, God wants me to say thanks and appreciate all He has done for me? I didn’t know that! 

Gratitude is tricky that way: we often don’t know when we’re ungrateful. Expressing gratitude might not seem very important. But when we look around and express gratitude to other people and to God, it leads to many good things, including a closer relationship with God! 

There’s a chapter in Deuteronomy that talks about two situations when you might find it hard to be grateful. Both are a test of your faith in God. 

The first situation where it’s hard to be grateful is when you don’t have much. Deuteronomy 8:2 says, “Remember how the Lord you God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.” The people of Israel did not have a permanent home for 40 years! But God led them and was with them all that time, and that’s a reason to be grateful! Verse 3 says, “God humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” Jesus recited this verse when the devil tempted him to eat.  

Did the people of Israel trust God when they didn’t have enough food? In the wilderness they learned that God would provide! Verse 4 says, “Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.” I don’t have any clothes that have lasted 40 years: do you? And if you wandered for 40 years and your feet never swelled? That would be amazing! God took care of Israel. But when you’re wandering and hungry and worried you won’t have any clothes: can you be grateful?  

Have you ever been without? Our lack is different from the people of Israel’s. It could be we’re missing someone we love, especially at the holidays. It could be we’re worried about paying the bills. How can you be grateful when you are worried about getting by or sad? 

Although they had many challenges, God took care of the Israelites for those 40 years. The people complained, they worried. But as they look back, they can see that for 40 years their feet never swelled! God provided food, manna, when they needed it. They didn’t have much. But God provided what they needed. 

You can be grateful, even when you wish for more, even when you wish your life was different. Here are some things to be grateful for today. You are alive! You woke up this morning. You have a roof over your head. There are people you love in your life. When you think about it, there are many people who wish they had what you have: think about Schuylkill Women in Crisis, and Bethany Children’s Home, who we are buying presents for this Christmas. The kids at Bethany wish they had a home and could be with family for Christmas. The families at SWIC are afraid of violence and wishing they had a home this Christmas  

There is so much you have to be grateful for. If you spend a little time thinking of all you have to be grateful for, it helps you be happier, less depressed and less anxious!  

There was an experiment done with college students who were seeking counseling due to anxiety and depression. The students were all given counseling. A third of the students were asked to also write a letter expressing gratitude to someone once a week for three weeks. The other students were not asked to write gratitude letters. The students who wrote gratitude letters, were happier! Even though most of them didn’t actually send the letter to the person they were expressing gratitude to, they were still happier! 

Much of our time and energy is spent thinking about things we currently don’t have. Gratitude helps us go the opposite direction and count our blessings!  

Deuteronomy says, “Remember how the Lord your God led you… these forty years!” Be grateful. No matter the situation we find ourselves in, expressing gratitude makes us happier! 

The second situation Deuteronomy 8 says can make it hard to be grateful, is when you have plenty. Verses 12-14 say, “When you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow larger and your silver and gold is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” Once you have plenty, it can be hard to be grateful to God. Verse 17 says, “You may say to yourself, ‘My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.’”  

You might think, if you have all you need, you’ll be grateful. Because then you aren’t worried, and you realize how much God has blessed you! But the problem is when you have plenty, you can think you did it all yourself! It’s harder to be grateful, when you think you worked hard and made it on your own. For Israel, God brought them out of slavery, then brought then safely through the wilderness. But that’s easily forgotten when the people enter the promised land and have plenty. 

The writer of Deuteronomy knew it’s important to be grateful. A society that feels entitled to what it receives does not adequately express gratitude. But it doesn’t have to be that way: we can make the effort to grow our generosity. Because no matter the situation we find ourselves in, expressing gratitude makes us happier! 

How can we be grateful to others and God? By practicing gratitude. Gratitude is not just a feeling, it moves us to act. If I’m grateful, maybe I’ll write a letter of gratitude. I tell God, “Thank you for everything I have and everyone in my life.” If I’m grateful, I’ll be generous. If I’m grateful, I’ll express it. 

My challenge for you today is to write a gratitude letter to God, expressing your thanks.  

Ingratitude is something we see more easily in others than we do in ourselves. We can all grow in generosity There are two situations where it can be hard to be grateful: when we don’t have enough, and when we do have enough. So all of us can find ourselves gratitude challenged, because of this thing called sin. The way out is to remember all that God and other people have done for us. Grateful people are happier, healthier, they deal with hard times better, and they have better relationships with others. Grateful people know life is a gift, and God is the source of all good gifts! Make Thanksgiving Day and every day a time of giving thanks, and you’ll experience a new, more joyful perspective on life! Amen.