July 4, 2021
Have you ever seen someone propose to their girlfriend in public, like on the jumbotron at a ball game? I think they take a big risk doing that, and I feel so relieved when the girlfriend says yes! Because can you imagine how it would feel for that guy if she said no, and in public, and on television?
Rejection feels terrible. Whether you’re rejected by a group of kids at school, or you apply for a job and get rejected, or you don’t make the team, or your friend won’t talk to you anymore. It feels awful! Rejection feels so bad, that Tylenol actually helps! Being rejected can feel as bad as physical pain. We are social creatures, and we need to feel we belong, that we are worth something to other people. When we experience loneliness and rejection it is a deep wound.
The thing is, we will all get rejected. You can’t arrange your life so you will never experience it.
Jesus talked about rejection in Mark 8:31, where it says, “31 He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again.”
Jesus said he must be rejected. It was part of God’s plan. Jesus would suffer and die and pay the price for our sins. There was something incredibly positive that would come out of Jesus being rejected!
What if there is something positive that can come out of the rejection you and I will experience in life? Today I’m going to talk about resilience: bouncing back from rejection, bouncing back from a difficult experience. We can learn from Jesus and other ancestors of faith better ways to respond to rejection and be more resilient.
The first thing we learn is that rejection happens to God’s people. It’s not as if, now that I am a follower of Jesus, nothing bad will happen to me and everyone will always love me. No, we will still be rejected. Sometimes, God’s people will especially be rejected!
In Ezekiel 2, God sends Ezekiel to speak for him to the Israelites. God says, they have rebelled against me, they are stubborn. Tell them what I want you to tell them. Tell them about their sin. In verse 5 God says, “And whether they listen or fail to listen–for they are a rebellious people—they will know that a prophet has been among them.”
God is saying to Ezekiel: you have to tell the Israelites what I want you to say, or I will hold you accountable. Remember Jonah and the big fish? Jonah got in trouble with God because he refused to go tell the people of Nineveh to repent of their sins. Jonah ended up in a big fish for three days because he decided not to deliver the message from God. So, we all have a responsibility to reach out to people who are not connected to God. But if you do invite people to follow God, and they don’t listen, it’s not your fault. Our job is to testify to God. If others reject us and our words, well, we’ve done all we can. So we know rejection happens to God’s people.
The second thing to learn about rejection, is we need to give ourselves emotional first aid when we are experiencing the pain of rejection. Jesus is our example. He didn’t just suck it up. He didn’t keep his pain to himself. He told his followers a number of times, I will be rejected. I will be crucified.
Jesus talked about the cross! He went to the Garden of Gethsemane and prayed. He talked to God about his suffering to come. He asked his followers to be with him in the garden as he struggled with the idea of going to the cross. Jesus sought emotional first aid. So, in the face of rejection, get yourself the emotional first aid Jesus received.
If you thought you broke a bone, you would go to the doctor, right? A couple of years ago, Kevin, my husband, fell off his bicycle. He got back up and thought something might be wrong with his hand. He walked his bike back home, a few blocks away. He thought he probably should go to the ER. But he took his time: he decided to take a bath and clean up, get the pebbles out of his skin. But eventually, he went to the ER. He told me he could drive himself, and he did. But he did go to the hospital, and his hand, it turns out, was broken. That’s what we all do, eventually, if we suspect we broke a bone, right? We go to the hospital: we can’t fix it ourselves!
If we have a broken heart, if we are feeling really down, it’s a different story. I believe we still need first aid. The kind we need is emotional first aid. So often we think we can handle problems ourselves instead of getting help. There’s another way: we can do what Jesus did: talk to somebody, tell them our troubles. Ask a trusted friend to be with us in our time of need. Talk to God and ask for help. Resilience, bouncing back from hard times, is more likely to happen, or happens faster, if we get this kind of emotional first aid from our friends and family, sometimes from a counselor, and from God. In the face of rejection, get yourself the emotional first aid Jesus received.
In the gospel reading today, Mark 6:6-13, Jesus sends his followers out two by two to minister to people. He tells them to pack light and stay in people’s houses. And Jesus says in verse 11, “If any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.
Jesus is telling them, some places you go to, you will be rejected. Jesus even gives them a ritual to do: leave and brush the dust off your feet. Basically, take the guilt you feel, the rejection you feel when people don’t listen, and leave it, brush it off. Go out of there feeling loved by God and feeling good that you tried!
Jesus gives his disciples permission to fail. He lets them know, if you do fail, that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you! If you fail, that doesn’t mean you will always fail. Keep going! Jesus only sends them out because he believes in them, they can do it!
Because of Jesus’ words to them, the disciples go out with a mindset that is realistic and hopeful. Verse 13 says, “They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.” Success! They experienced failures, but also successes! That’s a good way to look at life. We will be rejected; we will fail sometimes. But that doesn’t mean we will always fail and be rejected. We become resilient when we are compassionate with ourselves, when we stop believing our failures predict a future of failures. Because we will have great successes, too, if we keep trying.
Be compassionate with yourself! In the face of failure, get the emotional first aid that Jesus’ received.
We had Vacation Bible School this week, and it was a great week! It was the first time I have ever taught a class in VBS. I have helped with VBS before, but never taught. I was saying, “I can’t believe I’m going to teach a class.” I was intimidated by teaching, plus it was a lot of kids! I told people around me I was worried. I got some support. That I tried to stop the negative talk and stop the worry about teaching. I knew it would put me in the mindset, “I’m no good at this, I’m going to fail at it.” Jesus said with God all things are possible, so I know I can teach. VBS came and I did ok!
My homework for you this week, is to read the verse Mark 6:11, “And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” Maybe you thought Taylor Swift came up with “Shake it off,” but really Jesus did! Read Mark 6:11 and remember Jesus doesn’t blame you for failing. He just asks you to try. He believes in you!
We all will do our best but be rejected sometimes. We will fail. It’s painful. Jesus faced rejection, and he knew his followers would too. Jesus gave himself emotional first aid: he talked with his friends, the disciples, and he prayed to God. We have emotional first aid available to us. We have friends and family and God. We don’t have to deal with failures alone, and our failures don’t define us. God’s power is made perfect in our weakness, and we can do all things through Him who strengthens us. Amen.