Do you remember learning to ride a bike? You need to trust the person helping you ride a bike. You want them to keep holding on and never let go, but they know they need to let go when you are ready. It is hard to learn to ride a bike if you do not trust that person helping you. Has anyone gone bungee jumping? One person! I wonder how many people look down at the drop, and say, “No.” To do bungee jump you really have to trust the people hooking you up. Your life is at stake! Has anyone gone ziplining? Some people. Have you ever ridden a roller coast? A lot of people. You have to have trust in order to do that.
Trust is essential when you’re following someone’s lead to do something scary. But it’s not just important for bungee jumping. Everyday trust is important. You don’t go to restaurants if you feel you can’t trust their cleanliness. There are people who don’t use port-a-pottys: they just don’t trust them. Parents have to really trust someone before they let them babysit their kids. Then there’s cookies: for me, raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cause me to have trust issues. Can I trust something really is a chocolate chip cookie?
Trust is really important in relationships. We know what it feels like when we lose trust in someone. When that happens, we don’t want to be around them. We go on strike. We don’t want to be nice to the person who we feel has hurt us or treated us wrongly. We are less likely to tell the formerly trusted person that we are upset. We just don’t trust talking to them about how we feel.
Jesus taught we should love each other. Trust is part of love. The world would be different if we all could trust people in our orbit. Sometimes there are gaps between expectations we have for someone, and the experience we have of them. In that gap there is a lot of emotion. I expected you to take out the trash. I experienced the trash not going out at all. In that gap between expectation and experience there is a lot of emotion. You have the opportunity to choose what you will put in that gap. You can assume the worst. Or you can believe the best. What you choose when there is a gap between expectation and experience is the difference between trust, a healthy relationship, and no trust.
Jesus said we should love each other. There were people he dealt with regularly, who were hard to trust.
In the gospel today, some religious leaders send people to Jesus. They don’t like him; they are suspicious of him. Jesus knows they are setting a trap. There was a tax that the Jewish people hated. The religious leaders sent some people to talk to Jesus. First, they flattered him: Jesus, you are a man of the truth. What do you think: is it right to pay the Imperial tax to Caesar or not?
Jesus knows what they are doing. He says: “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me?” It’s a trap because if he says, “don’t pay the tax,” the people will love Jesus for saying it. But the religious leaders can tell the authorities he is telling people to break the law.
If Jesus says, “Pay the tax,” all the people will be mad at him. The crowd will leave.
Jesus says, “Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a coin. And Jesus asked, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s, they replied.” Jesus had tricked them. They are Jews, and the 10 commandments say to have no graven image or likeness, no idols, and to worship no god before God. Caesar was a god, to be worshipped. His image is engraved on the coin. So, these questioners already show they break the 10 commandments.
Jesus says, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. Give to God what is God’s.” Without saying, “Pay the tax,” Jesus is saying, “Pay the tax.” And worship God alone.
Jesus got out of this trap here, but this episode followed him to when he was arrested and tried. At his trial before Pontius Pilate, Jesus was accused of promoting resistance to Caesar’s tax. Which he didn’t.
Luke 23:1-4 says. “Then the whole company of them arose and brought him before Pilate. And they began to accuse Jesus, saying, “We found this man misleading our nation and forbidding us to give tribute to Caesar, and saying that he himself is Christ, a king.” (Luke 23:1-4)
When people do terrible things to you, you should not trust them. And if you have people going after you, like Jesus did, people who want to harm you and have you killed, it can make you not want to trust anybody.
But if you don’t trust the people you love, family, friends, people you work with, your relationship with them suffers.
Jesus knew there were people trying to get him killed. But that didn’t keep him from trusting people. Other people let Jesus down. Peter, for example, messed up. Jesus told his followers he had to suffer and be killed. And Peter said, “Heaven forbid, Lord.” “This will never happen to you!” Jesus replied, “Get behind me Satan!” Jesus didn’t want Peter tempting him to avoid crucifixion And Jesus also knew that Peter would deny him three times when Jesus was going through his trial and crucifixion. If you were Jesus, would you trust Peter? Jesus had an expectation: that Peter would stand up for his faith. Jesus had this experience: Peter denied knowing him, three times.
Jesus knew what Peter had done, and what he would do. What did Jesus choose to believe about Peter? Did he assume the worst: Peter wasn’t fit to be a follower, or did he believe the best: Peter will be a great church leader?
Well, I want you to listen to Matthew 16:18-19 and see if you think Jesus trusted Peter. Jesus said: “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Did Jesus assume the worst? Or did he believe the best? He believed the best. And was he right to believe the best? Yes, it turned out, Peter did a pretty good job leading the early church.
You can choose to build people up, or to pull them down. There was research on the secret of happily married couples. They found for happily married couples. when one person did something crazy or stupid, their spouse came up with a good reason for that. They had an inflated view of their spouse. “I’m sure when they come home, and we talk it out they will have a good reason for it. Now, is that wishful thinking? Is that ignoring the truth?
Well look at it this way: Do you really want to be married to someone who truthfully points out your faults every day? “Honey, I see you’re still overweight.” “Your nose is still crooked.” “You’re still short.” It would be the truth. Or do you really want a friend who points out your faults every day? No! You want a friend who overlooks your faults and believes the best about you anyway.
And you know what happens when you believe the best about someone? Untrustworthy people become trustworthy. Just like Jesus believed in Peter, and he became trustworthy. The message of trust is this: “I think you are smart enough to know what to do and how to do it. And if you screw up, I think you’ll tell me and fix it!” Believe the best!
It’s a powerful, positive thing when the people around you believe the best about you. And you may say, yes but there are people you can’t trust. Well, you will never know who you can’t trust until you trust them. How can you know you can’t trust someone unless you trust them?
My homework for you this week: is when there is a gap between what you expect of someone and what you experience, don’t just let your emotions run wild. Believe the best.
Trust is essential for good relationships. Sometimes it seems that people let us down. Our emotions can make things worse when we fill in the gap by assuming the worst. When we are suspicious. When we think the other person will never change, or never amount to much. There is another way. We can choose to trust and believe the best. Jesus trusted Peter, Jesus trusted the people close to him. And what happened? The Christian church happened, which grew and continues 2000 years later. We all want our boss, our friends our family to believe in us. So, do what you want others to do and fill in the gap, by believing the best. Amen.
October 18, 2020
Maureen Duffy-Guy's blog 