Today we are going to talk about the gift of forgiveness. First I’ll tell you a little story about gifts. There were three sons who left home, and all were successful in life. One day they got together and discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Lexus with a driver.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You know how much Mom enjoys reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
“Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”
“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Lexus. And the driver is so rude!”
“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was absolutely delicious!” She got a great gift!
Forgiveness is an important part of our faith. First God forgives us everything totally and completely, when we give our lives to him. Also, forgiveness is a very important part of what we Christians do. For instance, we say the Lord’s prayer every Sunday: “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Or in some churches it is “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us!” Forgiving others is really important.
But it’s hard. Forgiveness has been called the other “F” word. Sometimes, you have some person that you feel you can’t forgive. It’s like, “I know God might be mad at me if I don’t forgive, but I’m mad too! I’m so mad at this person!” Maybe right now you’re thinking “I know in this message the pastor will say I have to forgive, but I can’t.
But forgiveness is not about doing what the pastor says. I’m just another sinner. Forgiveness is about God, our God who loves you, and has given you a huge gift.
What’s the biggest gift you have ever received? A lot of us would first name the most important people in our lives: our children, spouse, parents, or best friend. After the people in our life, we’ve also received gifts of material things.
In the gospel today, Jesus tell a story of someone who received a huge gift! It all starts with Peter wanting to get things straight on how to fulfill the forgiveness requirement. Peter asks, “How many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Peter is hoping that if there is a difficult person in his life, he can give them five or six chances. Forgive them maybe four times. Then when they’ve reached the limit, say, “That’s it. I’m not talking to you anymore. I did all that the law requires.”
Jesus answers Peter, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” It’s like Jesus is saying there is no limit to the times you forgive. Jesus tells a parable: the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wants to settle accounts with his servants. As he begins the settlement, he finds he has a servant who owes him what would be about half a million dollars! The servant is brought to the master. Since, of course he couldn’t pay, no one had that much money! The master orders the servant and his wife and children to be sold to repay the debt.
The servant falls on his knees and begs for mercy. The master takes pity on him and lets him go. The master forgives his servant for a half a million dollar debt! Can you imagine how that would feel to be that servant? That would be a happy day! Jesus tells this parable, with a debt so huge, there is no way to pay it back. It’s a story of God sized forgiveness. Forgiveness a gift we can’t earn, and a love we can’t believe.
The servant goes out from there. He finds another servant who owes him a hundred silver coins. A hundred silver coins, is a much smaller amount than the 10 thousand bags of gold that the servant has just been forgiven! Now you assume the forgiven servant, having just been forgiven a huge sum, would tell this other fellow, “Forget your debt! You don’t owe me anything! I have just been forgiven a tremendous debt myself!”
But that’s not what the servant does. He chokes the other servant, and says, “Pay me back what you owe me!” The servant asks for mercy, a little time and patience. But the forgiven servant says, “No!” and he has the man thrown in prison until he can pay off the debt. How can the servant earn money in prison to get out of debt and out jail? Probably he can’t, and he’ll be stuck in prison.
The other servants witness this, and they are outraged and go tell the master. The master says, “You wicked servant, I cancelled all the debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” And the forgiven man gets thrown in prison.
Jesus says, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
God wants us to forgive! In the parable the half a million dollar debt is something no one can make up. No one in Jesus day could go to work, save their denarii and pay it back. Forgiveness is a gift we can’t earn, and a love we can’t believe. We can’t earn God’s forgiveness and love either. God forgives our sin free of charge. There is nothing to pay. We don’t earn God’s love. Forgiveness a gift we can’t earn, and a love we can’t believe.
I have heard estimates before of how much it costs to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. One estimate is $175,000. That’s a lot of money, but I have never heard of parents asking their grown child to pay them back the money they spent on raising them. Parents forgive the debt. There is no debt. Parents are so happy to give to their children to help them grow and thrive.
When we think about God and forgiveness, we need to remember that God is a parent who has forgiven us and loves us unbelievably. Jesus taught his disciples to pray the prayer we start as “Our Father.” Only the translation is really, “Dad” or “Papa.” It’s a very close way of talking to God. “Our Daddy in heaven!” We are God’s children. We are part of God’s family. And God loves us first, before he gives us boundaries. Just like with Moses and the Israelites in Egypt, God became their God and brought them out of slavery, before some months later, God gave them the law, the 10 commandments. This is important to remember: God loved Israel first, they didn’t have to do anything to earn God’s love. And after God had saved them, God gave them the boundaries of this relationship, the 10 commandments.
So God loves us first and makes us his children.
We often think we have to be good first, in order for God to love us. Legalism is an assumption that I can work my way into God’s good graces. We can’t. God loves us first before asking us to do things like forgive.
It’s like parents take a baby home from the hospital and love that baby so much. They don’t ask the baby to do a thing! (Of course, a baby couldn’t do what they asked!) But later, when the child is older, the parents ask the child to follow rules. I never told the neighbor kids they have to take out the trash. I only told my kids. Rules are only for those we have a relationship with. Every parent who loves their children establishes rules, but they know if the child breaks every single one of those rules, that child is no less their child.
The same with God. God loves us, forgives us, and asks us to forgive, and it all comes out of relationship. Forgiveness is hard. But God didn’t give us rules because he’s mad at us and wants to trip us up. God gives us rules like the rule to forgive because he is mad about us! He’s not made at us, he’s mad about us! He just loves us so much. And God wants us to experience the peace, and good feelings that come when you let a burden go, when you forgive and love like God loves and forgive you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you let someone take advantage of you over and over. In some cases, you shouldn’t talk to someone again who has really done you wrong. But forgiveness means you do let it go. It’s like saying to someone you are mad at: you don’t owe me anything. The debt is gone. It doesn’t need to be paid. I let it go. It’s a release that let’s you get on with living a joyful life, setting the burdens down.
My challenge for you this week, is, think of someone you are having trouble forgiving. Then imagine one of your favorite people. If this person you can’t forgive were one of your favorite people, could you forgive them?
We have all received big gifts: one of the greatest gifts is that as we turn to God and follow him, we are part of his family. We receive forgiveness: a gift we can’t earn, and a love we can’t believe. God doesn’t demand we forgive. Instead he asks us to follow his lead, and share with others that love and forgiveness that we have so graciously been given. Forgiveness is God’s great big gift to us: a gift we can’t earn, and a love we can’t believe. Amen.
September 13, 2020
Maureen Duffy-Guy's blog 